Naked Fashionista

So, we got to the airport, and not only did delta not let Marc get on the plane; they took off the wrong bag. Yes people, I am here on safari with my husbands 27 pound bag of nothing. No undies, no cute snake boots, no safari button downs, no blush colored relaxed skinny jeans, no cute khaki safari jacket with pockets for all your shit. Yeah, I'm pretty much here with no husband, and a Delta sky team t-shirt. I do have the jeans I traveled in, and my mom has an extra pair of boots. Our professional hunter Tony got to know me really well at the airport when he took me into some hoochie store called Woolworths for some undies, a t-shirt (that fits), a long sleeve, a button down, and some tampons. Nothin like picking out some panties with a man you just met standing over your shoulder planning to pay for all of it. He encouraged me to get a pair of jeans, but he obviously doesn't know me very well. I would rather wear these seven Dojo jeans for a year than wear some flared dark denim with sparkly butterflies on the ass pockets. And, I figured the cat was out of the bag at that point (about the tampons), so I just asked him what I had unsuccessfully googled....."am I going to get attacked by a flesh eating animal since I have my monthly bill?" Don't worry people, I'll be safe. I guess I'll wear Marc's safari jacket tomorrow. It's either that or my khaki J.Crew grandpa sweater. I'm also taking one of his knives so I can feel a little like Cadmus, or whatever her name is from The Hunger Games. I'll have to take photos with my trusty IPhone since yes, my freakin camera was in my bag too. Oh well, thank god I'm with my parents and not my in-laws. My mom has enough mascara and blush to share. ;) Thus, let's hope for the safe arrival of one handsome husband and one bag full of fabulous safari fashions. I'm going to rock what I have people. It's gonna be great! Tomorrow, we are in search of a sable.

What Up South Africa

Hello there blog followers: it's been awhile. I'm writing this post from the 13th hour of my journey to Johannesburg South Africa. I still can't believe that I'm going to Africa, but it is definitely sinking in as I look at the flight info on the screen in front of me. We have 3 hours and fifteen minutes to go. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, but to put it lightly, "this flight blows!". The day started off like a normal weekend day. I woke up, grabbed an espresso and a quick bite before I started the waffles and bacon. Sam woke up knowing that this was the day mommy and daddy were leaving, and he couldn't help but be a little sad. He came downstairs in his curious George t-shirt and batman undies with a sad little look on his face. I could tell that he was trying so hard not to cry, so we sat on the floor and had a little cry while we talked about all the fun things he and Zady were going to do when we were gone. It seemed to help. Meanwhile, Zady was eating her Special K with strawberries and singing a very beautiful song. Once Sam sat down at the table to eat his "gorilla balls" she started to talk to him, and wasn't going to have it. He started to cry again, as he told her in his meanest voice, "don't talk to me! I'm having a hard time right now!" She did not obey, and continued to piss him off until we went into the living room to talk to daddy. It was so sad to see him have his "hard time", but they are going to have a blast while we're gone. I just know it. Plus he forgot we existed once we turned on Star Wars. They bounce back! Thus, the trip started off fabulously; Marc and I left the house, the kids, and grandma with a spring in our step and our bags full of super cute safari clothes. He looked so handsome in his blue exoficcio long sleeve performance T, khaki hunting pants, and cowboy boots. And I was rocking a cute sleeveless teal number with a pair of sevens and my Hermes belt, teal side out. I hadn't donned my super cute safari jacket and scarf from Anthro since it was still pretty hot at the house. Footwear of choice was a pair of trusty Minnatonka moccasins with beaded eagles on the toe. Comfy and casual for the crazy day of travel. We made it to Atlanta and met my parents at this great restaurant in terminal E called One Flew South. This was one of those really nice airport restaurants that I long to be in when we travel with the kids. It's full of quiet adults having sushi, Kobe beef burgers and beautiful libations. We loved every second of it! So everything was trotting along as we headed to the gate. I was on my way to buy some water for the flight when I saw Marc talking to the gate agent. I went up to ask him if he wanted me to buy him some water, and he looked at me with the strangest look on his face and said, "I can't go, they aren't going to let me get on because I don't have enough pages left in my passport. My heart sunk and I looked at the gate agent and said, "you have to be joking, there has to be something we can do." Nothing. You are supposed to have at least two preferably four empty pages in your passport to travel to Africa which he had, but he didn't have a blank Visa page. No one ever said he had to have a blank Visa page, and the idiot who checked us in Philly should have said something, but of course they didn't. I guess it could have been worse, he could have made this hellish jaunt over the Atlantic only to be sent right back to the US once we went through customs. So, he's still coming, but he has to figure out how to get extra passport pages first. I couldn't believe it! We aren't going to let it ruin things: it's only delaying things for him, and he will be on his way soon. It's super ironic that the super savvy world traveler in our foursome got kicked off the plane. I had to watch him walk off with his cute blue shirt on as I boarded the plane. :( It was not my favorite thing at all. I was then having a little "hard time" of my own. Thirteen hours and some super sore tailbones later, we are over the shock of knowing Marc's not behind us, and we are excited to see him in a few days to join us on our fabulous Safari.