Mentor

OMG is how I have to start out today.  OMG is so appropriate because I was giving out advice last night to my little neighbor.  She came over for advice about her recent breakup.  I was so flattered, and then flabbergasted by what we talked about!  You wouldn't believe how today's small town freshman thinks she could bring her relationship to the next level!

So, here's how it went down:  doorbell rang, saw cute Freshman, invited her in, she sat in the chair with the dirty socks, a few of Pigpen's chew toys, and a burp cloth.  I sat across from her on the sofa and we chatted.  She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend last week, and still wasn't over it.  I had to resist saying to her......this so won't matter when you turn 20, and you won't even remember it when you turn 30, and you probably won't even remember his name when you turn 40, but I held back and just listened.

I was amazed at how fast she talked.  It was like she was speaking some foreign teenage language laced with "wickeds" and IM words.  It was awesome!  She didn't want to get back with him, but then she did, and she just didn't really know.  They cried after they broke up, but they cried via texting.  What!  As if it's not hard enough to be a Freshman in high school, but to be a Freshman via texting and IMing.  How can you even know what the other person really means or feels when you are having a relationship through modern technology?  I fear for Sam. 

I promptly told her that guys were more sensitive than girls, and that she will find that out later on in life.  I also told her that the fact that he is already dating someone else in a week's time is due to his broken heart, or lack of a heart.  I told her that some guys are dogs, and they will tell you whatever they can to make you sleep with them.  You can avoid this by being a good girl that is honest and doesn't play games.

I then felt compelled to tell her about STD's and pregnancy since I'm positive her parents have never talked about it at all!  I used the same scare tactics that my mom used with me.  I am proud to say that I was not a slut!  I was too scared of getting AIDS, Blisters on my cookie, or genital warts!  GROSS!  She then proceeded to tell me about "hooking up".  I asked her what that meant exactly, and she told me it meant third base.  Once she noticed the confused look on my face, she said to me, "you do know what the bases are don't you?"  I don't really know what they are in a baseball sense or a high school sense.  I was thinking back to high school and how I was always concerned with whether or not my boyfriend could distinguish between the padding on my bra, or my actual tiny little chichi.   Ugggg!  

We concluded that if you are bored with your relationship.....third base will not help things out, and that she shouldn't do anything that she is scared to do or unsure of.  I also told her about my favorite saying......if you worked on UCA Staff you heard me say it at every girl talk.  "Reputations are easy to get and hard to lose."  So, you don't want to get the rep as the "blow job chick", or "the village bicycle".  No, I did not say Village Bicycle to her.  I do know enough to know that she would not get it.  

I sure hope that I can have an open dialog with my kids about sex.  I think kids need to know all the consequences that can come from there 4 minute romp in the car.  Is a lifetime of funk worth 4 minutes in your parent's cellar?  I don't think so.  :)