The Spa

So I totally took advantage of being babyless and at a beautiful resort this week. Of course I had to go to the Spa at the Hotel since it was supposed to be fantastic! I planned to not get my toes done the week before I came, so I could sit and have them done In Mexican style at the Westin Cabo San Lucas. By the way, our room is fabulous! Our balcony looks out to the ocean, and we get to drift off to sleep and wake up each day to the rolling crashes of the ocean. It is soooo relaxing and so wonderful! Our room is fantastic.....bathroom is giant and just right. It is pure heaven.

I left my husband underneath a palm tree on a comfy lounge chair and headed for my long awaited and much needed mani-pedi. I arrived at the spa and was greeted warmly by a cute Mexican girl behind the marble desk situated in front of a huge pebbled water feature. I was to take a seat and wait for my therapist Ofelia. I did just that and she arrived within minutes. I started out down the corridor to the spa, and she said, "Senora, this way", and motioned me into a small room next to the front entrance. We walked in and I was underwhelmed by the maroon chairs and the nail salon feel of the place. The towels were once white, but now had a unexpected beige tone to them. They did have big beautiful fresh flowers strewn about that did perk up the outdated decor. It was a little warm in the room, and the pedicure chair was completely ancient. When she turned it on, it just vibrated in a way that would definitely make your ass feel like it did when you had an epidural.

She started on my hands first. They were in those little hand dips on the arm of the ancient chair. She stood up as she filed and pushed. It made me nervous for her. I wanted her to sit and do my nails. It had to suck to stand, but I just decided to not think about her, and to just relax. That was really my only option since there was no musica, no air conditioning, and no yellow journalism for me to indulge in. I just laid my Hermes scarf clad head back and relished in the relaxing quite. I opened my eyes as she moved over the right hand, and noticed something on the floor. Yeah, it was a Grande Lacucaracha!!! It was the biggest roach that I have ever seen.

I turned to her as to not appear completely horrified and said, "Lacucaracha." She looked down and jumped up to take care of the situation. I didn't want to embarrass her, but I also didn't want the Lacucaracha to get any closer to my bag. It brought me back to my Freshman year in High School when I was being fitted for a Quinsenera dress at a small house in Robstown, TX. My mom was with me, and the lady that was making all of the beautiful black velvet and cream satin dresses needed me to come out for my last fitting. I put on the lovely long sleeved yoke front and back dress and felt a little itch. I felt a little tickle in the sleeve, and then I looked at my hand to discover a huge roach was hiding in my dress, and had crawled down my arm and was finally resting on my hand. I remember seeing it and reacting without a scream or sound, but I flung it off of my hand, and that little bastard landed on the wall and scurried up to the ceiling! Gross!!! It all happened so fast that neither my mom or the dressmaker caught wind of the disgusting ordeal. I never said a word when we were in there, but when we got in the car I had to give off a huge creeped out shudder of grand and horrendous proportions! That is the last time I have had a roach on my person, and hopefully it will stay that way!

The roach in the spa didn't bother me too much....I was in Mexico after all. I was just glad it didn't fly on my or crawl over my newly polished toes. Musica finally did come on when it was time for my toes. It was a weird mix of Britany Spears and Robbie Williams, but I didn't mind it.

Today was redemption for the spa. I had a facial today, and was greeted by a very handsome tall and lean Mexican man. He was wearing a tight pink button down that was stylish and unbuttoned just enough. He lead me down the hallway I tried to go down the few days before. As we walked he asked me if I had ever seen the movie, You Have Email? I totally laughed inside of course. I told him I had, and he went on to tell me that I looked just like Meg Ryan. I thanked him and he handed me my locker key, #49. I got the heavenly facial, and it was just that! She was a master! I love Lucille! She rubbed and extracted ever so lightly, and then massaged and cleansed ever so perfectly. I loved it! My favorite part was when she gooped on something awfully thick. It was so thick and heavy that I had to restrain myself with all my being to not unearth my hands from the cozy blanket and touch it. I loved whatever it was, and I was praying that it would dry and she would peel it off in one fail swoop. My prayers were answered! She did just that, and I was so happy. I loved my facial and my time spent in the steam room after. Today was a good day. We are going to go into Cabo with a fun couple that we met from Texas. Hasta Luego Pendejos! :)