Why do I have to go to a stupid skin care party, or discovery toys party, or some other stupid, please buy my shit party to go out and be social? Is this just a sign of our times? Or.....is this just where I live now? Small town America.
I was so excited to get out last night and go to a party with girls and wine. I met this really cool girl at the airport and begged her to be my friend. I swear, I feel like a creepy dude that hangs out at bars to meet girls, except, I'm not creepy, and I'm usually at the mall or supermarket.
So, I get to her house and was pleasantly relieved to find a really cool normal girl that I actually had things in common with, and to make things even better....she had a cool husband! Great! We could actually have them over for dinner and have a good time.
We hung out at her house for a while, and then went to the party. The party was full of girls, aka, potential besties, so I was really excited to walk in and have some great little conversations. So, I'm about to get a glass of wine, and the chick that is running the party pulls me away to try the sea salt scrub on my hands. She took me over to the sink and swore I would think of her in the morning as I woke up with silken sea salt scrubbed hands. Well, it is the morning, but I'm not thinking "Oh Amy, that scrub was fantastic! My hands feel like a newborn ass!". I'm thinking, Amy, why did you have to monopolize the party goers and the time spent away from Pig and the babysitter? Why did I have to listen to you talk about the great opportunities with this stupid pyramid scheme company and these overpriced organic skin care products?
I'm sure the products are nice, but they were expensive, and there was no ingredient list for anything. I even asked Amy, and she told me that the description was in the brochure. The description for the toner I was interested in said something like, "witch hazel, various RE9 products, and other great scientific things that we can not explain to you. What! I love how they put random letters and numbers in the description to make it sound more medicinal and legit.
They obviously didn't know that they were dealing with a former pharmaceutical genius who wants to know more than what they tell you in the fancy number and organic word infested sales pitch. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking people who make their money with Avon, or Mary Kay, or Arbonne, but I would like to just go to a damn cocktail party and not feel guilty about buying something that I don't need.
I stood strong. I was going to buy the toner, but I didn't like the way it smelled. You can't tell me that the orange smell is only from oranges......I don't buy it...literally....ha! And, no one could tell me what was in it. All I could hear in the back of my head when she was talking about the eye cream, and how it made your face tingle, and totally filled in your wrinkles was my sister-in-law Ellen. She would chalk that up to a temporary contact dermatitis that is reacting to your skin in a negative way to puff it up for half an hour or so. Gross!
The truth is, you can't reverse the signs of aging. Oh, and to add insult to injury, the moisturizer of this miracle anti-aging line only had SPF 8 in it. That was purely because if they had more SPF it would change the composition of the formula and not be as great! Whatever! We need SPF, and we need lots of it, everyday! That is the secret to beautiful skin. Ask any plastic surgeon or dermatologist, and they will tell you exactly that.
So, here's the deal. I wish I had more friends here so I could just have a girls only cocktail party. You would come and have food and wine, and get this, you wouldn't have to go to the ATM first because you forgot your stupid checkbook! You wouldn't have to feel obligated to buy anything, or have your own party so the hostess can get the fabulous gift package worth $X! You could just come and talk about girl things, and eat girl food, and have a great girl time!
3 comments:
Why don't you be the first to throw a party like that? You could invite this new friend plus ask her to bring a friend or two and Joan. What more could you need? :)
That is so very true. I was thinking of all of the "colorful" people I've met thus far, and how random and funny a cocktail party would be if they all came. I would just need to have coke, water, asti, and some cheap wine to have a success! :)
yes, like WED night dinners at each others houses in Memphis. Those were always a good time, especially when you and FT capped the night off with cirque de soleil moves. Those were awesome. Still hate the mexican night theme though... racist. Those were ganster clothes you were wearing!!!
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