Say What!!!

We had our "determine the sex" ultrasound today. I could not sleep a wink last night. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I was so anxious about today. It was also a balmy 80 degrees in our bedroom last night. I think my La Mer face cream was melting in the bathroom, and I told my husband that I felt like I was camping. We had all the windows open in our room, and all we could here was the damn wilderness. I was sweaty and sticky and forced to listen to the symphony of critters right outside all four windows. I was having flashbacks to Camp Champions. I told him that I hoped we could make it to the Ultrasound in time from our camp sight. He laughed and assured me that we could roll up the tent in a flash. I had weird dreams of some underground bomber that I was trying to find. Once we found him I realized the people helping me were the Reno 911 police department actors, and I knew that nothing good could come of the dream. I woke up after that at 4am, used the facilities and tossed and turned some more.

I was too excited to here the news, too excited to get to write this blog, too excited to keep the Leopard print Baby Uggs that I bought for her last week, too excited for a lot of things. Then, my excitement turned to "what if". What if it's not a girl, and I have to drive back to the outlet mall and return my sweet little Uggs with big crocodile tears in my pregnant eyes? What if we have two rambunctious little boys and I have a house full of little wieners that pee on the seat? What if I never have a "mini me"?

My husband already has his "mini me". Pigpen's first word was "car", and he loves trucks, wheels, cars, motorbikes, pretty much all things boy. I can see his little mind wondering how things work, and he can't even talk yet. He figured out where the soap was in the bubble mower and turned the damn thing over to see it run out of the side. He is so my husband's "mini me". I wanted one of my own so bad! I want someone who I can teach about fashion and shopping, and boys, and bargains, and everything fabulous!!

The Ultrasound lady was nice, but not too vocal. She measured every part of that baby's body. She measured the head, the legs, feet, arms, hand, brain, spine........I was like blah blah blah......how's about measuring the damn genitalia! I was sure that she would be able to see a wiener or a bajayjay if she could spot the kidneys. She kept me in suspense for what felt like half and hour, and then she looked at me and looked at my husband and said, "are you ready?" Hells yeah I'm ready! I was ready May 14th lady! Then, she pointed to the screen.....my heart stopped beating for a few seconds, and she said, "do you see those three little lines right there?" I was thinking yes yes, so our child has a mini blind growing out of it's ass......spit it out lady.....what is it? What does it mean?? Then she said it, "you are having a girl." I tried to hold em back, but I couldn't. My perfect line of noir liquid eyeliner was going to be missing on the corners of my eyes. I cried a little, and then a little more. I conveniently wiped my tears with the bottom of my long maxi dress that was hiked up to my boobs. After the lump in my throat went down, and I could actually get a word out I said, "are you positive?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "I don't tell people unless I'm sure, but nothing is 100%, however, I have never been wrong." The blinds definitely looked different from Pigpen's little light switch.

I was soooo excited!!!!! All I have to say is Holy Shitballs!!!!!! I'm having a girl!!!!!! I can not believe it! I thought this would never happen! Okay, well maybe I did since I have been convinced the whole time that it was a girl. She better not want to wear sneakers and gym shorts like my brother in law is threatening! My ass has grown significantly, and I have what appear to be love handles, but it is all worth it now. I will embrace my giant ass and love handles knowing that they are the product of a sweet little mini me. I love her so much already!

I already have her crib set picked out. It's the one I wanted to buy for Pig, but decided it was too girly. You can check it out at, http://www.modernessentials.com/viewitem.cfm/item_id/2011. Pigpen has the Transportation set by Dwell, so they will mesh fantastically. The poor kids have to share a room, so this is important.

I still can't believe I am having a girl. I have been extra cautious with my precious little cargo today. Girls are more sensitive and fragile, so I told my husband I would no longer eat sushi or jump on the trampoline. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! If you are reading this please hope with all of your might that this little baby does not sprout a Johnson between now and January. I am going to thank my lucky stars tonight before bed for sure. Thank you God! You freakin Rock!