Why is it that the damn boy always gets sick when my husband is either out of the country, or all the way across the Nation? I don't know if he has ever been here when we have had to take temperatures and ponder a visit to the stupid idiot Nurse Practitioner. Well, there was that one time in Martha's Vineyard.....thank goodness he was there that time because I would have had to go and wake up his boss and boss's wife at midnight, and well......"homey don't play that".
Anyway, my mom was just here for a two week visit that absolutely flew by! We picked up Pigpen from Daycare on Tuesday, and the girls told me that they took his temp because he was really fussy, and not acting like his normal chipper self. He had a temp of 100. Eh, big deal! Give the boy some "dope" (Tylenol) and move on. That is my thinking, but I couldn't say that. I had to say, "oh, oh no, thank you for taking his temp; I will give him some Tylenol when I get home." So, we did just that, and he took a big fat nap!
My sister-in-law is a Physician, and between her and a Pediatric Cardiologist friend, they both recommend, alternating Tylenol and Motrin when your child has a fever. You give one of them every four hours. The Pediatric Cardiologist said that she doesn't even take her child's temp, she just gives her the medication and monitors her child's behavior. Thus, I am not concerned with numbers when it comes to a fever. My sister-in-law said that a child will not die from a self induced fever. They will die if they get a fever from being left in a hot car, or something like that, but if your child gets a fever and their ears and throat look clear, you just need to let it run it's course. "Dope" every four hours will help the child feel more comfortable.
Armed with this info, I tried to do my best on Wednesday after dropping off Ya Ya at the airport. Pigpen was not too comfy in the car, and took a nap when we got home.....a long nap! I long enough nap for me to watch 90210, The Rachel Zoe Project, and Gossip Girl. I was in heaven with the Tivo remote and my tall no water Chai Latte from Starbucks. After his nap, he was not happy, and totally burning up. I decided to open up the $30 thermometer I bought after our return from Martha's Vineyard and try it out. You stick it in the ear......scary! I was sure he would hate it, but he actually let me do it. Of course, I had to stick it in my ear first, then Piggy's ear, and finally his. Temp was 103.5. I tried to remember what the medical professionals said, but it is hard to not feel helpless and a little lost when you see such a big number, so I called the damn doctor.
Of course, my doctor could get me in at 4:30, or the stupid idiot Nurse Practitioner could see me at 1pm. I couldn't bare to wait until 4:30, so I chose the NP. Dumb! I forgot that she didn't know that their were two types of Balmex last time I saw her for his Eczema, but I quickly remembered when we were in her grasp. I mean, I don't expect her to know all the brands of diaper rash cream in the world, but Balmex is pretty common, and she is a mother herself. How do I know more than she does when it comes to diaper rash cream? She insinuated that I was a moran for putting Balmex on his Eczema since it had zinc in it, and well, that would be moranic if I actually used the white cream, but I didn't. I used the clear Balmex that is similar to Vaseline, and she didn't believe me that it existed......I hated her.
Anyway, we go to see her to get his ears and throat checked out and to get him tested for the flu. I am 5 months preggo, so that is the last thing we need in our house....the damn pregnant lady death sentence of the swine flu! Well, guess what, they don't test for the flu, only the ER tests for the flu, so basically I learned that his ears and throat looked good, and to give him Motrin. She suggested to only do Motrin every 6 hours and not alternate. I tried it, and it sucked! Alternating is better! Listen to the ones that went to school longer!!!!! I hate myself for not sticking to the plan.
Pig was miserable. He just wanted to lay on me all day long.....preferably with his knees on his unborn baby sister. He went to sleep around 8:45, and slept until 3:45am. We got up, we drank water, we got our dope (motrin this time), and we took our temp. That is when the thermometer read 106, and then said ER C. Error, I suppose. I don't know, I read the instructions, and there was no explanation for an ER C message in the display window, and then it wouldn't get itself off of Celsius! I wanted to throw it so far into the lake, but I just kept my composure and tried to change the batteries. It's moments like these when you just want to cry too. He was crying, so why shouldn't we just make a family pitty party out of it? After we changed the batteries, we still got the same message. It sucked! Everything sucks worse at 4am when you are walking up and down the stairs in a tank top, bikini panties, no shoes, with a giant pregnant belly in front, a much bigger ass than you have ever had in the back, and a sick unhappy snotty nosed baby on your side. Shitty!
So we both went into my room to try and go back to bed. He wriggled around for a good 20 minutes as he moaned, and then he finally settled on a sideways sleeping position with both hot little fire poker feet resting on my back. So, I had his little "foot coals" digging into my back, and Zady (the unborn) was doing Turbokick in my belly. I laid there on my side and thought...."This is torture, and the second one isn't even out of the womb yet." What's is going to be like when they are both here and both sick, and I'm playing single mom for the week? Ahhhhh!!!!! I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.
He woke up feeling good and cool as a cucumber, so I sent him to daycare. They called me at 11am to come and get him. Dammit! I can't win!
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