Monday, September 14, 2009

Destination Maternity or Destination Divorce?

If you've never been into one, the name might sound really cheesy and a little scary. I always thought of it as a place full of khaki pants that resemble something my grandmother would wear mixed with some sort of electronic store issued uniform, and those horrible black rayon empire waisted shirts with ugly tropical white flowers on them. You know.....the really ugly maternity clothes that just make you look like a pregnant whale!

But oh, I was "oh" so wrong! This place is like a shiny little jewel of an oasis sparkling in the distance for every pregnant woman to enjoy. My friend Natasha told me about it, and I decided to check it out. I think Angels sang in unison as I walked through the door, and I'm almost sure that my hair blew back and a light shone in on me as I entered. This place was heaven for the knocked up! When the Angels ceased their tunes, and the wind in my hair was gone, a cute girl dressed in all black and one of those Britney Spears headsets walked up to me and offered me a water or a fresh orange juice. I was thrown off at first, but completely delighted at such an offer. Then she went on to explain to me how the store worked.

They have three different sections of clothing. They have them laid out as almost free, affordable, and completely fabulous but you're smokin crack if you buy more than 4 things from this section. Of course I loved everything in the designer section. Then, wait for it, wait for it, they have a spa; yeah that's right.....a spa. A spa designed just for pregnant ladies. I was looking at the entrance to the little dreamy location called Edamame Spa, and there was a stylish looking preggo checking in for her massage. I died! The girl looked at my face and said, "come on over and check out our spa menu.....everything is tailored to pregnancy, and all of our therapist are trained in prenatal care." I felt like I was part of some alien Government experiment that was too good to be true. I had died and gone to heaven!

Not only do they have all of these fabulous features.....there's more! They have a sweet little Yoga studio filled with birch wood and smokey glassed walls. It was so cute and tranquil, and I think the classes are free! There was also a little section full of baby gear....really cute and trendy baby gear: just the type of thing that you would want to see on your baby to be. Just down from the baby gear section and the spa was the literature and lotion section. Of course I loved that! I love products and these were all products for preggos. I bought the Boob Tube and the Belly Rub. It was like being at Whole Foods: I didn't have to read any of the labels....you just knew the stuff was good. I ended up in the dressing room with several items from the "you're smokin crack" section. I had 2 pair of Seven For All Mankind jeans, one pair of Citizens, a pair of A Gold E cords, a fabulous little valour tracksuit by Hardtail with a jeweled winged heart on the back, some Mavi shorts, and some cute tops. All of the bottoms were over $100 for sure, but they were all so lovely.

I tried on, fell in love, but then slapped myself back into reality! These were maternity clothes, and I was only going to have one more baby! Last time I could justify buying nice stuff because I was working, and I was most likely going to have another baby. This time, not so much! I am only having this little sweet girl, and then I am calling it quits! The angel on my left shoulder said, "Do you really need to wear $200 maternity jeans to the playground where you will be sitting in the sandbox?" Then the devil on might right shoulder countered back with a, "But they are soooo cute and sooo comfy.....you will look so smart in these, and you will long for them in years to come at the Thanksgiving dinner table." Crap! What was a hormonally challenged stifled fashionista to do? I sat down, took a deep breath, thought of my husband, and settled on a pair of $50 shorts (that was the sale price for the Mavi's) and a cute black sleeveless top with a ruffled collar.

I still spent more than I should have, but at least I knew I would still be married when I got home. I haven't been back since. I want to go sooo bad, but I am trying to steer clear. I might have to break down and go this week with my mom since I tried on my one option, a black dress from the Gap, for a wedding I have to go to in Texas next month. Neither my mom or my husband were blown away by the jersey knit wrap dress with long sleeves. Oh to be pregnant and fashionable.....it's so hard.

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