Delivery Anxiety

So we are about to head to Austin for the Delivery. I just took a shower and put on the best costume for the day. I have on my really cute black sleeveless shirt from Destination Maternity. It has ruched sides and a ruffle collar that sticks up ever so fabulously. With that I have on my favorite maternity jeans, some turquoise Betsey Johnson socks, suede Ugg high heel clogs, and over it all I have my super chic Cadeau Brocade long maternity jacket; it is cream and gold, and so fab. Of course I will wear my rabbit fur scarf and off white lambskin Chanel wallet on a chain over top with my new plastic tortoise shell Ray Ban Aviators.

Don't worry, I'm not wearing this to the hospital. My husband and I are going up to Austin the night before the delivery to eat at Uchi and stay with my Aunt and Uncle in Georgetown. I'm just waiting for him to get out of the shower and then we are off on our journey. I did pack my bags, and I decided on one Ellen Tracy gown, a cozy robe, some fuzzy cozy socks, flip flops for the shower, a regular tank, a nursing tank, and one more PJ set. We will see if I actually wear any of that.

My arrival and departure outfit is about the same. Black Fila pants that are soooo comfy yet tight and flattering, Rose colored Michael Stars long sleeve T, and a cute black pleated trapeze jacket with a hood. My departure outfit is the same, but I plan on changing the shirt to a gray long sleeve Michael Stars that is a little more flowy. My rabbit fur Mukluk boots will be the footwear of choice. Hopefully Zady and I will walk out of there with our heads held high......well, mine will be held high, and hers will be supported by my left upper arm as we ride in the wheel chair down to the drop off area. High hopes folks....high hopes.

I guess right now I am sitting in my roller coaster car at the very tip top of the ride. I'm excited; I want to cry for no reason at all; I'm not wanting to leave Pigpen for three days; I'm trying not to think of pushing her out of my hooha. So many things are going through my head right now. This is why I have to concentrate on the costumes of the day. This helps with the anxiety. The anxiety of the unknown. I haven't been walking because I want her to come on Monday so my doctor can be there, but I can't help to wonder if I'm going to kick my ass when I get there tomorrow, and they tell me that I am still at 1cm. I wish I could check, but yeah right....not going there! I just hope everything goes smoothly and wonderfully.

I made a playlist for the day, but my best friend isn't going to be there. I am super bummed about that. We tried our hardest, but it just didn't work out....she is coming next weekend though. Last time she was the reason it was fun. We danced....well she danced, and I bobbed my head since I was numb from the waist down. We sang, we rapped, we laughed, and she coached me through the entire thing. She is going to start doing that for a living since she is so good at it. We will try and Skype, but it won't be the same.

My sweet husband called her yesterday for some pointers, but I don't even think he knows the words to "Push It" by Salt n Peppa, and well his dancing ability, let's just say......well......nothing. My friend Sara sent me a message of encouragement, and told me that I'm about to learn how to cook, pee, and walk around while I breastfeed this time since I have a 20 month old that is bound and determined to get into everything. I never walked around last time I nursed. Speaking of nursing.....I would like to apologize right now to my poor little nipples. They really have no idea, and I'm sure they have blocked it all out of both of their little minds. The Parana biting sessions of nursing past that is. They are about to get a rude rude awakening, and for that, I feel terrible. I would also like to apologize to my nether regions for whatever takes place tomorrow, and then I would lastly like to apologize to my sweet husband for having to see that and still love me as much as he did when we first met.

Oh the anxiety of the unknown......keep positive though. Tomorrow I am going in with a positive, no nonsense, get her done, kind of attitude. Game face will be on, and baby will come fast and fabulous. That is the plan!