Brand New Day

Hey there Blog readers!  So, I don't know about ya'll, but I was really moved by the inauguration yesterday.  I don't know if it was the fact that he is the first of something, or that I just think he is a good person, or if I was just shocked and pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of American Pride in a Nation that has been so divided.

I love the vibe of accountability that I felt while watching the ceremony.  It seems like that might be a theme with him, and I wish that could be a new theme for America.  Can you imagine how wonderful the world would be if everyone held themselves accountable?  I know that I am ultimately the only one that is responsible for myself.  My parents aren't wholly responsible for my actions because they can only inspire and guide me, but when it comes down to it....I am responsible for me.  Meaning, I am responsible for my actions.  I am the only one that can make the most of my life.  I am the only one that can make me do the right thing. 

I always try and put myself in someone else's shoes and think of things from the opposite point of view.  I try to make my time on this earth meaningful.  If it is only meaningful to me, then that is all I can do.  Personally I think that I have the ability to affect others with my actions. It can be something really small.....it doesn't take much to make someone's day, and it also doesn't take much to ruin someone's day.  I always try and do the first.  

So, back to my first thought.  What if everyone was accountable?  Would there be no more litter, crime, or acts of unkindness?  Hell no:  there would still be people who have no idea, but I know that I don't want to be one of those people.  I know that I want to die knowing that I made a difference in people and I made them at least have a better day when I could. 

Thanks Obama for making me think of ways that I can be a better US Citizen.  I am going to start by raising a considerate, helpful, human being that will add to this planet and not take from this planet.  If you really think about it.  This is our planet to share....not only with Americans, but with everyone else on this planet.  Turn the water off when you brush your teeth, don't litter, don't add to un-recyclable waste, turn off the lights, use your own shopping bags.  Those are just small things that would make a difference if everyone held themselves accountable.  

Love Story

I love the song Love Story by Taylor Swift.  I think she is brilliant for writing all of her own songs. They make me want to go shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch and then run around in a wheat field with a cute boy and a bicycle.  I could have been a song writer!  I hate that you don't know these things when you are young and discoverable.  Oh well.  I have had such High School nostalgia the last couple of days.

I don't know if it's from Facebook, 90210, or the fact that my neighbor's daughter is going to "the prom".  I guarantee that it's not "the prom"as her dad called it.  I'm sure that he is just a stupid dad that has no idea what the actual dance is called.  I will find out tomorrow when I go over there for dinner.  

I told him to tell her to come over and talk makeup with me, but I doubt he will remember to tell her, or that she will have the balls to actually come over.  I told him that I would teach her how to wear makeup and not make her look like a street walker.  I don't know what he thought of that exactly....i love messing with him.  

She got her dress in the mail, so I'm anxious to see it.  Is that what girls do these days?  Do they look through a catalog of bedazzled frocks and order them accordingly?  Interesting.  I loved going and trying on all of the dresses at Dillard's for Prom.  So fun!

So.......90210.....I love it!  Am I total loser for liking a show about high school kids?  I love Gossip Girl too....okay, I am a total loser I'm sure of it.  Anyway, last night on 90210, Annie and Ethan said "I love you" for the first time!  It was so sweet, and it brought back all of those funny high school feelings.  It was genius how they filmed it and scripted it....you really got the nervous weird feelings that come across in such a silly yet poignant situation.

It seems like the biggest deal in the whole world at the time, and then you look back to the losers that you actually said those three words to, and thank your lucky stars that you didn't end up with them.  Thank you Jesus for letting me end up with who I did!  Oiy veh!

Anywho, if you are reading this, try and think of the first person you said those three words to.  How old were you, and how long did it last?  Funny to think of!  :)

Frontier Woman

My husband is not here today, so the Pig and I woke up to a freakin Winter Wonderland.  I say "freakin" because that means that we will be stuck inside today......most likely.  I got the Pig out of his cozy crib, and opened the blinds to peer down at the tell tale sign of snow.....the Rover.  It was absolutely covered!

Great!  Do I need to go out and scrape it off?  Will it go away on it's own?  Will it form an encapsulating sheet of ice that will literally lock me out of the car for days?  Uuuuuggghhhh! What do I do with no man around?  

I did some laundry and washed some dishes:  you know, the stuff that I'm good at.  :)  Then, I saw the plow guy.  The, "I will plow your driveway for $25 plow guy".  I hate him for that, but I don't have a huge ugly shovel thing affixed to the front of my car.  So I reluctantly dig into my cash stash.  I say stash because that is what I use to buy things for me!  I hate him!

After that, I decide to go outside and join the Sausagefest of neighborhood men.  I remembered my husband showing me some big waterproof mittens that he designated for "car scraping".  I didn't pay much attention to where they would live since I didn't really anticipate scraping by myself.  So, I look for the mittens, and can not find them!  Shit!  Oh well, I did find some fire pit gloves that would be the next best thing.  Thus, the fire pit gloves topped off a thrown together snow scraping ensemble of PINK sweatpants, Juicy Couture hoodie, pashmina scarf, Patagonia hat, Prada Boots, Fendi Gloves, and my long quilted Orvis coat.  A good car scraping look I thought.  

So, I get out there to find my next door neighbor saying to me, "good mornin, those don't look like your gloves! Ha!"  He is a nice little nervous man that is roughly my size, and doesn't really think that he is roughly my size.  I think to myself, "no shit sherlock, and they would swallow your tiny little baby hands too,"  as I smile and say hello.  I confirmed the plow charge with him, and remembered my husband saying that he doesn't want that guy to plow unless it is at least 5 inches of snow....I didn't get the ruler out, but I think this qualified.  

Anyway, the snow was light and fluffy, and surprisingly easy to scrape off with the fire proof frankenstein hands.  I started the Rover, and asked him if he would flag down the plow dude for me since I haven't the first clue on how this works.  I moved the Rover to his driveway, and had to resist a very large temptation to drive it straight through the huge mound of snow that was made by plow dude.  I think I had a surge of testosterone from the gloves and the scraping.  I made my mark, but didn't go overboard.  

Meanwhile, Pig is inside by himself in his "office" aka excersaucer.  I was having visions of him bawling his eyes out, but to my delight, he was just fine after I scraped, drove, paid, and talked snow.  

I must say that I am proud of myself, and my Prada Boots.  Maybe I'll make cookies.  :)

Negligent Shopper

Yes, the Pig and I went shopping today!  Don't get overly excited for me though.  We just went to Barnes & Noble and Old Navy.  I know, nothing fancy or that exciting!  Especially since it is absolutely Antarctic here, and Old Navy has there spring stuff out.....I hate them.  

I guess you can refer to me as the new catchy phrase that some of fashion focused talk radio shows are using......yes, I am a "recessionista".  Fashionista turned Recessionista.  This means that I still long for and dream about Chanel and Missoni, but I go to Old Navy instead of Neiman's.  It's sad I know, but just like Diana said....."I will survive".  I think Diana Ross sang that, but who really cares.

Don't get me wrong, I love Old Navy just like the rest of America, but I love Neiman's more!  So as soon as I get in there, I smell something all too suspicious.  The Pig is getting teeth at the moment, and one of the side effects of that is crankiness and the runs.  He has the later, and I'm okay with that.  As soon as we enter I wheel him straight to the back of the store....I am positive that Old Navy has a changing table...they sale baby clothes, so they better!  And.....they did.  

Just to set up the scene for you....I have on a long sleeve v neck shirt from Kohl's (recessionista strikes again), a fabulous Christian Lacroix rabbit fur vest, a winter white pashmina, some homeless chic long fingerless gloves from Barneys, and a great long one of a kind necklace also from Barneys.  Jeans, and some chartreuse Borne boots on the lower half if you were wondering. 

With all of that on, I have to practically disrobe when we get into the bathroom.  Poop on the Christian Lacroix could make a grown girl cry, and he would be pawing at that pashmina and necklace like a rabid badger if it were dangling above him as I try to not get shit everywhere!  Thus, I disrobe and get out everything that I will need.  It was a bad one, but magically it did not get on his clothes, or mine....thank you Jesus!  I loved the Pig for that.

With that, I was feeling extra happy as I walked through the piles of clothes and sales.  I was shopping like any mother would...for myself, for the baby, for myself, for the baby, for my mother's dog, for the baby. Anyway, I was putting the "yeses" on the stroller as we went along. Keep in mind, I don't get out much these days, and my eyes were scanning that store like one of the special devices on CSI Miami.  I was paying attention to everything else but the Pig.  That is why I didn't notice that he was eating a price tag until I went up to a Sales Associate to ask if they had the green puffy jacket that was so 1980's in a 6-12 month size.  I look down to see if the 12-18 months is really way too big, and see Pig happy as a lark eating one of the price tags!

I got that horrible "oh shit" feeling in the pit of my stomach.  The price tag was missing the bottom half....you know, the perforated part that tells you how much the garment is.  I was trying to think back to putting the shirt in the yes pile.  Did it have the perforated part on it?  If it did, was the the gross orange sale sticker stuck to it as well?  Had he eaten the perforated part and the little orange sticker?  Oh Shit!  What was a supposed to do?  I asked him if he swallowed it, and he just smiled at me and laughed.  I then took my dirty shopping finger and swabbed his throat for anything suspicious.  Nothing, no evidence at all.  I still had a bad feeling that he swallowed it, so I called my sister in law.  She's a physician.....I left her a stupid message and asked her if I should be concerned.  I tried not to sound too alarmed, or too much like a horrible selfish mother who doesn't pay attention to her kids!  

So, we checked out, and he started to gag a little, eyes watered, face turned red, and then stopped and went back to smiling.  I decided to sit on the bench by the door to let this play out before we got in the car.  I was hoping a doctor would be shopping at that moment and randomly strike up a conversation with me about my cute price tag eating baby. No luck. No shopping doctor.  So, I burp him, I look at him, I jostle him, and then I saw it!  He was arched back and looking at the store upside down, something that he loves to do, and in the roof of his mouth I saw it!  A huge OLD NAVY price tag!  It took up the entire roof of his little baby mouth!  I reached in there like a Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.  I grabbed that price tag so fast...he didn't even know what hit him!  Thank God!

So, long story short:  I shopped, I didn't pay attention, and the damn baby ate a price tag, then barfed it back up.  What a day!

Separation Anxiety

Yeah, I think it has started!  The Pig is 7 months old, and he starts to get weepy when I let him down, and today just through him over the edge.....his little baby edge that is.  You see, he goes to Daycare on Thursday, and he hasn't been to Daycare since before Christmas.  I will probably have to make this short since he is currently sleeping, and won't be happy when he wakes up alone....

I loved today!  I got my haircut which was soooo needed.  I had Madonna roots, and some shaggy horrible bob thing that had no life whatsoever!  I got some great color, and a cute Jenny Humphryesque modern mullet.  

Shit, he is crying!  Long story short.....he cried allllll dayyyyy lonnnngggg at Daycare!

I went shopping.

Sucks to be them!  :) 

Who is Dancer?

Okay, you need to download "Human" by The Killers before you read this:

Let me start by saying that I was super shocked and disappointed when I discovered that this song was by The Killers.  I like The Killers!  I might even go to a concert if it were free and I had VIP tickets to some sort of box that allowed me to sit down and have people wait on me.  Hello, The Police concert........it rocked.....and was just that!  Anyway, back on track.

This song is so stupid!  I heard it on the radio yesterday, and I first looked down to see if I was on the 80's station....realizing that I wasn't, I then began to listen to the words.

"My sign is vital

My hands are cold

And I'm on my knees 

Looking for the answer

Are we Human?

Or are we Dancer?"

WTF!  What the hell does this mean?  And not to mention it has a techno 80's vibe that is so queer.  Who is Dancer, and why is Dancer not Human.  I love to Dance and be a Dancer....am I an alien?  Do The Killers have special security clearance at Area 51?  Are they giving us some long lost information about the great beyond?  Should you be a little concerned if you were blessed with rhythm?  Maybe you aren't just a good Dancer, maybe you are from the planet Dancelon, and you are a freakin Alien!  What!

I digress, this song is horrendous, and I am appalled that they released it.  I am not a major music person, but I felt compelled to blog about this "Cheresque" Gay bar disco song.  Holy Mackerel!  

I hope you think of his blog when you hear that stupid song, and see if you can figure out who Dancer is.....am I that far off base? 

Canned

Okay, so I can't help but feel a little icky today.  I was driving home from the Land Rover dealership in a black Hummer H3 when it all started.  If that isn't reason enough to feel icky....I got some crazy news whilst driving the hugely ridiculous borrowed tank down the highway.  

My manager, well former manager, called me to talk about my position with the company. I was in a sales job, and decided to take parental leave after I had Pigpen and moved to Boston.  So....to make a long story short....I'm not working right now, but I still got FIRED!  

Well, she said that I was "displaced", which is a corporate word for FIRED! Because of company reasons, they were cutting the sales force in half.  I know that she hated to call and tell me that, and she was super conflicted on how to tell someone that isn't working at the moment that they are FIRED.  She actually never said that word FIRED, but that seems to be the only thing that stuck with me.  

So here's the good news, I was on leave not knowing what to do.....go back to work (if there was a position), or just stay at home and be a mom.  I was leaning more towards the latter, except for every time I talked to my manager.  Anyway, I might get a severance package!  What a crazy thing!  I never thought that I would be in this position ever!  I can't help but wonder what would happen if I was still in Austin and still working.  I think I would have been safe, but who really knows right?

So, raise a glass to me getting FIRED for the first and hopefully last time in my life.  And keep your fingers crossed about the severance package.  May it be big and lovely, and wrapped up with a big Chanel bow!