Frontier Woman

My husband is not here today, so the Pig and I woke up to a freakin Winter Wonderland.  I say "freakin" because that means that we will be stuck inside today......most likely.  I got the Pig out of his cozy crib, and opened the blinds to peer down at the tell tale sign of snow.....the Rover.  It was absolutely covered!

Great!  Do I need to go out and scrape it off?  Will it go away on it's own?  Will it form an encapsulating sheet of ice that will literally lock me out of the car for days?  Uuuuuggghhhh! What do I do with no man around?  

I did some laundry and washed some dishes:  you know, the stuff that I'm good at.  :)  Then, I saw the plow guy.  The, "I will plow your driveway for $25 plow guy".  I hate him for that, but I don't have a huge ugly shovel thing affixed to the front of my car.  So I reluctantly dig into my cash stash.  I say stash because that is what I use to buy things for me!  I hate him!

After that, I decide to go outside and join the Sausagefest of neighborhood men.  I remembered my husband showing me some big waterproof mittens that he designated for "car scraping".  I didn't pay much attention to where they would live since I didn't really anticipate scraping by myself.  So, I look for the mittens, and can not find them!  Shit!  Oh well, I did find some fire pit gloves that would be the next best thing.  Thus, the fire pit gloves topped off a thrown together snow scraping ensemble of PINK sweatpants, Juicy Couture hoodie, pashmina scarf, Patagonia hat, Prada Boots, Fendi Gloves, and my long quilted Orvis coat.  A good car scraping look I thought.  

So, I get out there to find my next door neighbor saying to me, "good mornin, those don't look like your gloves! Ha!"  He is a nice little nervous man that is roughly my size, and doesn't really think that he is roughly my size.  I think to myself, "no shit sherlock, and they would swallow your tiny little baby hands too,"  as I smile and say hello.  I confirmed the plow charge with him, and remembered my husband saying that he doesn't want that guy to plow unless it is at least 5 inches of snow....I didn't get the ruler out, but I think this qualified.  

Anyway, the snow was light and fluffy, and surprisingly easy to scrape off with the fire proof frankenstein hands.  I started the Rover, and asked him if he would flag down the plow dude for me since I haven't the first clue on how this works.  I moved the Rover to his driveway, and had to resist a very large temptation to drive it straight through the huge mound of snow that was made by plow dude.  I think I had a surge of testosterone from the gloves and the scraping.  I made my mark, but didn't go overboard.  

Meanwhile, Pig is inside by himself in his "office" aka excersaucer.  I was having visions of him bawling his eyes out, but to my delight, he was just fine after I scraped, drove, paid, and talked snow.  

I must say that I am proud of myself, and my Prada Boots.  Maybe I'll make cookies.  :)