Santa

Yes, PigPen went to see Santa today for the first time ever!  We decided to go to the nice mall for the photo since we (really I) figured that they would have a better Santa.  I was really hoping for an old man with a real beard since Pig loves to pull on anything with hair, so a fake beard would definitely be history if he got a hold of it.  He's good at grabbing, but we are still working on the letting go part.  

So, we parked at Neiman's and started our search for Santa.  My husband asked me, as we were driving, if I knew exactly where Santa was in the mall since he really didn't have a huge window of time.  I told him that I did not, but that we would just park at Neimans regardless and start our search from there....only after we walked by the Chanel boutique of course.  

I told him that if the mall was smart, they would put Santa in the "new part" by all of the fabulous stores since those stores are most likely struggling for business. I doubt Bottega and Louis V are selling out of bags this season.  

We parked, we walked by the Chanel Boutique, I whimpered, and low and behold......Santa was right where I said he would be.  My husband got in line as I took care of some business at Louis V and Tourneau....nothing exciting, just a return and a pick up of something that needed to be fixed.  

After my errands I walk out of Tourneau only to find a long snake of a line for Santa, but luckily my husband was in the middle, but closer to the front.  He had our BOB stroller parked right in front of a damn Bugaboo.  I wanted a Bugaboo so bad.  I totally fell for the marketing ploys and the videos they have on the internet.  I tried so hard to justify the $900 stroller to my husband......I even went for the, "we wouldn't even need to buy a pack n play since the bassinet comes off and would work for years!" route.  He didn't buy it.  He told me he would rather throw up everyday than buy a $900 stroller, so we used our REI dividend and got the BOB for about $40.  

I made a pact with myself that since I have no friends, I would befriend the next Bugaboo pusher I see at the mall.  I won't have stroller envy, but I will use it to my advantage...I will strike up a conversation by asking about the stroller.  So, I did just that!  I asked the cute Seven for all Mankind wearer how she liked her stroller.  She loved it and only had fabulous things to say about it.  Her husband even chimed in with some positives, but caved quickly when my husband said that he nipped that in the bud asap with me.  The husbands talked about how ludicrous the price was, and the wives talked about how cute it was and how uber functional. It was a match made in heaven!  They were really cool, and we exchanged phone numbers!!!!  Yeah!  We made a friend!

So, enough about my triumph, let's talk about Santa.  The Santa line is really really funny!  I haven't really ever paid attention in the last 20 years of my life, so today was a sobering experience.  You could blackmail people with the shit that they do in front of Santa.  I mean, everybody wants their kid to smile right, so they do all of these stupid ridiculous things that should not leave the privacy of your own home!  It's fantabulous!  

The best part was watching those total Brie Vandecamp moms who want their child to have the absolute perfect picture.  It's like they brought every noise making toy that they had from home because they anticipated their child not responding well to the shitty cowbell that the elf rings to help produce a smile.  It was so interesting to see how many pictures they would make the poor lady take before they got a good one.  It's borderline humiliating since the line is right there, and the people who are at least 4 families deep can see how much time you are rudely hording for your own kid.......some people just don't care. 

Our turn finally came, and we sat Pig on Santa's lap, and he did great!  Just like the future babyGap model that he is.  He looked at the camera twice, and then went straight for that beard.  He tried to rip it off, but it was actually growing from his face.  He then thought, well, if I can't pull the beard off, I will try to eat it!  I had to take him away since I wasn't sure if Santa really wanted to make out with my son or not.  

Needless to say, we got a great picture and met some people our own age that seem like they might have some things in common with us!  Score and a half!  Go Santa!