The Toilet Seat

My friends are coming to visit me from LA today, and I am sooo excited that I could pee my pants.  They will be here around 6, so I really shouldn't be blogging......I should be cleaning like a mad woman, but I had to take a pause and eat some Cosmic Cocos.  They are generic cereal deliciousness from Whole Foods, and they actually taste healthy.

Anyway, so I am cleaning away.....vacuming, dusting, sweeping, what have you, and then I get to the bathroom.  The damn bathroom!  The bathroom that my husband said that he would clean when we agreed to let our stupid, I hated her, cleaning lady go.  We decided that I would clean everything in the house except for the shitters and the floors under the shitters.  

Here is my reasoning on this......I don't pee on the seat.  I really don't think I would ever have possibly accidently peed on the seat.  I sit, I go, I wipe, I stand.  Thus, no chance of peeing on the seat ever!  Also, I never lift up the seat to do anything.  If the seat was glued to the bottom part of the toilet, I would be exactly the same as I am today.  I would still:  sit, pee, wipe, then stand. So, I politely suggested to my husband that he should clean the toilet indefinitely unless I happen to decide to start peeing standing up.  Don't worry, I will definitely let him know if that happens.

Let's move to the floor under the toilet.......once again, no chances of me getting anything on the floor, so I refuse to mop it.  The thought of it makes me throw up a little.  That is why you have a cleaning lady, and since we don't have one anymore, I will not do it!  I will stand my ground, I will not do it I say!

BUT, here's the issue.  My friends are coming to stay tonight, and said husband still has not cleaned said toilets or floors.  What's a girl to do?  This sucks!  Apparently, if I want to be a good hostess and have spotless toilets for my guest, I need to break down and clean the damn things.  I mean, let's be real here, the toilets aren't growing a go-T or anything, and there are no visible droplets on the under seat part, but I just can't help but think of that Lysol commercial that shows all of those horrible "germy bug things" on the phone and on the doorknob.  I think of the toilet seat like that!  

UUUgggg!  No, not Uggs, I like those.  UUUgggg!  I don't want to tackle this. I do have some really cute blue rubber gloves that have a little sassy ruffle at the bottom.....I don't want to subject those to the toilet, but I guess I have to.  I love him, but I will hate him the whole time I'm in there.  Bastard face!